Exploring your instrument

I used to think that exploring my voice meant going as high as high can be, and as low as low can get. I thought it was all about muscle power and about daring.

When I had my first Alexander technique lesson the idea of exploring my voice took a new dimension to me.

I used to think of my own instrument as if started from the diaphragm and up all the way to the nose. Yet through the Alexander Technique I found out that my voice starts with a thought, one simple thought!

Of course every ingredient counts. It is very important to have both feet on the ground because next to the thought, that is where the voice begins. And having ALL my joints free is key to my singing instrument. Nowadays I see the vocal cords as translators, they are the ones that translate my thoughts into sounds, but my instrument goes much much further than that.

I believe the most important ingredient on exploring the voice is to allow yourself to make mistakes. Don't you think it's weird that everybody knows we learn from our mistakes, but nobody wants to make a mistake?

Allowing yourself to make mistakes                                      
Mistakes... Well, of course that's not what we aim for.
All we want is to sing and play as beautiful and perfect as we can. Maybe that has to do with the fact that we need to be accepted? And so we try to please everyone, yet we know we will never be able to do that.

Musicians are experts in 'saving' and disguising mistakes. It can be fun indeed, yet in general they take it so seriously and get so frustrated when making a mistake that it becomes a 'big monster' in their heads. Singers tend to be extra insecure about it. Let's face it, we singers only have a microphone to hide behind, and the classical singers... not even that!

Point is, we musicians take everything way too serious. If we were brain surgeons ok, making a mistake could be tragic, but for God's sake, we are playing music.

If we don't allow ourselves the space to explore we are bound not to make a mistake, and that will certainly keep you right were you are, so you will never get to know your full voice and full capabilities.

There is one thing though, how do you know that that mistake really was a mistake?

Faulty sensory appreciation

Did you ever record yourself in a rehearsal or a concert? Remember that awful mistake that would never ever end? And so you listen back to the recording the next day and have a very hard time to find that 'awful mistake'? Every musician has had such experience before. That is a good example of faulty sensory appreciation.

We all have a habitual way of doing things, we create habits in our bodies without knowing it. That has a lot to do with how we learnt things, and we practise and practise them so we end up reinforcing our habits. Sensorial feelings work together with habits, so once we are a tiny little bit away from that habit all our sensors will send us a clear sign to our brain saying that this is just not right, making us going back and readjusting back to the habit. Back to what is known to the body, to what is known to our ears. I had many of those experiences, just like any other musician.

Trust

Working with the Alexander technique gave me the trust and the tools to stay in my full instrument, allowing my voice to come out freely without falling back into my old habits. I felt freer to explore more and more.

I clearly remember having a rehearsal with my band ages ago, I was singing a song I knew really well, and this time I allowed myself to just sing without any judgement, without trying to sing beautiful, just staying true to the emotions of the song, and of course applying all the tools of the technique.
I was comfortable enough because first of all I knew the tools, and second it was the band I played with for decades. Whilst I was singing my only reference was looking at the faces of my musicians: if they gave me any 'funny' looks it was a clear sign that I was really 'out of it'.
Through the whole song my ears kept on complaining, telling me that it was really awful, but I stayed true to my directions and kept on applying the tools of the technique. Once we were ready the whole band looked flabbergasted and asked me: "Can you please always sing like that?"

Acceptance

I guess that is the core of it all, to accept my own voice the way it is, not wanting to be anybody else but me, not wanting to have any other sound than my own.

If you press play you can listen how my voice sounds like nowadays.

And don't you be alarmed, the spoken text at the beginning of the song is the voice of Thomas Gerretsen, the drummer of the band.

Unconscious Copying of Other Voices

In my last post I described a little bit of my amazement by gaining a whole octave extra in my vocal range after about 6 month of following lessons in the Alexander Technique. It was like magic to me back than because I certainly didn't understand what was going on: I stop doing breathing and singing exercises and I get a whole octave extra! What is happening to me?

Of course I did my lie down every single day, together with my regular Alexander Technique lessons. That is how space was created for my voice to come out freely and for my breathing to be free enough that I never have to think of it anymore and to support my voice on its way out.

In the voice workshops I had the opportunity to get in touch with my own voice. 

When I started singing professionally (about 15 years earlier than my first Alexander lesson) of course I took the example of my favourite singer, to the point that I almost 'became her'. It was not my intention to copy her, but I was after that big sound. When I found out I was stuck 'being someone else' I decided to take examples of other singers to have a 'good mix', so unconsciously I kept on copying. 

In the first voice and Alexander Technique workshop I took part in, a whole new world open up for me. It took a lot of courage to be there and do nothing of the things I was used to do when singing, but be connected with the emotion of the song and... sing it.

I was amazed by the fact that I didn't have to do anything, whenever I did any of the old singing habits my teacher would stop me so I could be aware of 'falling back into my own trap'. 

My voice kept on changing, during my private lessons I went through many voice changes, later I started the training course to become a teacher on this technique, and my voice kept on changing, to the point that my body had to rethink 'the road' of getting the air out of the air pipe (which reminds me of the 'free your neck and go bubbles post). Every body change reflected in a change of voice.

In my process I learnt how to meet and accept my own voice, I didn't have to make any extra effort nor effects  to get my voice beautifully working, and I learnt that I need to make mistakes in order to find it.


I am happy to say I finally did it, maybe I should say that I am doing it. I am sure I don't please everyone with my voice and my songs, but I am very happy because I don't do it to please others, I do sing because it is my calling and I just can't stop doing it. Of course it is nice when other people can also relate and like what you do, but if you depend on what others think you will never be yourself and never meet your own voice.

In one of my earlier posts (mind and voice) someone send me a message and told me how much she agreed with it, I thought it was really sweet from her, yet I felt so misunderstood because she also mentioned telling her pupils to think: 'how does my favourite singer does it?'

That is very sad to me, because it is a 'snow ball of uncounsciones', the teacher bringing the pupil to imitate his/hers favourite singer, and the pupil doing it because he/she wants to learn how to sing. 

So, I will tell you the little secret and wonderful presents I got from the Alexander Technique, if you stay true to this principles you will never have voice problems and you will be able to sing like you never did before: 

* finding your voice doesn't require magic tricks nor singing diets 

* singing well doesn't require any muscle effort

* if you shorten or collapse the torso will be impossible for your voice to come out freely

* if you know what you are saying your brain will bring enough oxygen into your lungs for you to be able to bring the whole phrase out 

* you don't need to pull or push any muscle nor put your ribs out for breathing, this will be on the way of your own voice and taking energy out of you.

* belly breathing (or abdominal breathing as it is called nowadays) does not exist

* don't try to do the job for your body, allow the body to do it for you

*  be in touch with the message and true to the emotions of the song

* listen 

This is one of the old recordings from back than when I still amazed by it all happening to me, my voice did change quite a lot since than, but this was the first recording in which I managed to stay true to my own voice:

It is as simple as that. If you want to experience it with the help of a voice and Alexander Teacher you are welcome to take part in one of my workshops, or find an Alexander Teacher near you that works with the combination. In case you can't find anyone in your area I am also happy to bring a workshop to your area. 

A whole octave extra in my vocal range!

I always loved singing. I sing everywhere and the greatest thing about being a singer is that I can play my instrument anytime, anywhere. Even under the shower!

I became a professional singer in 1986. I was asked to join a professional band back than when I met some musicians during a visit to Amsterdam. My first gig was at the 'Rum Runners', a very nice cafe where the band had a steady gig back than, and about a couple of month later we had a concert at the Meervaat theatre, also in Amsterdam.
So, I can say I am one of the few people that went from the shower straight to the podium.

Working for it
I had to work a lot, and I mean really a lot in the beginning. I had to built a repertoire, cope with phrasing, tempo, rhythm, microphones, performance, not to mention those notes that just didn't want to come out. Yet I was extremely happy to do it, I could spend the whole day and night studying and I never got tired of it.

In time I started to have singing lessons and most important to me was the breathing. I worked and I worked on it, did my daily practice and loved doing it.
I must say it kind of worked somehow, and that is the magic of the body, it will do anything for you! (little I knew that what I was actually doing was to get my habits much stronger).

I became be a good 'breather'. Like most singers and wind instrumentalists I was a 'breath control freak', and I did all there was to keep on being a 'good breather'. I was a professional breather, for God's sake, I needed to know how it is done.

After being 'a dedicated professional breather' for such a long time I started to developed lower back pains and eventually my knees started to complaint. Well, I was certain the lower back pains were due to a 'family legacy'; everyone in my family suffered from lower back pain. And in time my knees also started to complaint, so I paid a visit to the doctor.

My doctor sent me to the physiotherapist of course, and it became one more thing to keep on doing, my regular physio sessions. The physiotherapist showed me exercises to make my muscles stronger. And so I kept on doing it. I had my daily singing practice, my daily breathing exercises, and next to it the exercices for my knees and lower back.

Freedom
One day the Alexander Technique crossed my path. I met my first Alexander teacher without knowing anything about the technique in advance. I went for a singing lesson and that's all. My first Alexander teacher, Ron Murdock, is also a singer (a classical singer).

For my surprise I didn't get any singing or breathing exercises, instead he taught me how to tune myself up!

In fact he asked me to stop doing my singing and breathing exercises and told me to go lie down with a bunch of books under my head and with my knees up (semi-supine). Ron told me to do this everyday and for the rest I was allowed to sing anywhere, just do not practice he said. Do not practise your singing the way as you know, do not practice your breathing nor any other muscle practise, just for now.

I was surprised and relieved, a bit suspicious I must say, but since that was the only 'singing lesson' that I felt deep into my muscles and that my body was screaming for more, I decided to listen and go for my Alexander lessons every week. And I was truly convinced that this was a singing technique, that is because Ron knew I was a singer and all his input in my lessons were connected to singing.

I felt so much changes from the beginning on, it was amazing. In time I noticed I had much more energy than my fellow musicians at the end of a gig and in my daily routine as well, and the greatest thing: my back-aches vanished and my knees didn't complaint at all anymore.

Of course I kept on asking about the breath and how to do it, I kept on asking Ron to give me a 'real singing lesson'. After some time of having private lessons Ron invited me to take part of his monthly voice workshops. Oh joy, finally I get to have a 'real singing lesson' I thought. I went to the workshop and I will never forget it, singing just took another dimension to me. I never thought it could be like that, I never knew it was so easy.

A whole octave extra on my vocal range 
In 6 month of following private lessons on a regular basis I gained a whole extra octave in my vocal range, and that for someone who had been on stage for about 15 years and practising breath and singing on a daily basis. The first time I noticed I was really breathing, breathing as nature intended, I almost had a shock. It was scary because all of a sudden my ribcage was just opening sideways and up for the intake of air, and the shock was because I felt that whilst crossing the avenue behind my house, I was on my way to the bakery, not busy with singing at all!

That's when I decided to follow the training course to become a teacher of the Alexander technique so I can also help singers and musicians to use themselves in a more effective way to play their instruments, and discover the joy of doing less and gain more, much more than ever expected.

If you don't know the Alexander technique and get curious about it just find a teacher in your area, go for it.

In my website I also have a 'testimonial page' so you can get an inside of different people that followed lessons or just workshops.